Not a recommended travel itinerary

When choosing travel plans, there is great wisdom in giving yourself plenty of extra time for connections, inter-flight rest, and transfers.

I, unfortunately, rarely (oh, scratch that . . . never) follow these precepts. I was in the Tampa, Florida area yesterday presenting at a homelessness service providers conference. I finished my last presentation at 3:40 pm and rushed out of the conference facility to drive the 60+ miles to the Orlando International Airport to catch a 6 pm flight. And yes, I had a rental car to return and was bound to run into commuter traffic in the Orlando area at 5 pm.

The drive was the most uneventful part of the past 24-hours. This is stating a lot. Those of you who have driven in central and south Florida know that the highways are analogous to NASCAR racetracks. Ever car speeds up to your bumper and then slingshots up the road as if they are in the "flag lap."

Okay, so my flight from Orlando to Seattle started banal enough. I was buried in work and typing away at my computer. That is, until I heard a request for a doctor to help in the rear galley of the plane. Wanting to help my colleagues who most assuredly beat me back to the galley, I walked to the small crowd gathered in the portion of the plane usually only frequented by the flight attendants. When I got there I learned that I was the only physician on the plane and the two flight attendants who were simultaneously talking with medical support on the ground and attending to a young woman in acute abdominal distress. They were more than happy to have me step in and take over.

It turned out that she was suffering from acute gastroenteritis that was compounded by flatus in the large bowel. In plain speak - she had a lot of gas. The two hours that it took to finally provide her some relief were very exciting. The flight attendants and the tower continually asked me if the plane needed to be diverted to get her immediate evaluation and the poor young woman was in a great deal of discomfort. In the long run, she was scared, in a good deal of pain from the pressure in her abdomen and really just needed a little simethicone (Gas-X) and a helpful ear to listen to her concerns. All ended well.

I arrived in Seattle at 10 pm PST (three hours ahead of the eastern time zone I had been operating in for the past couple of days) and was greeted with a 2-hour lay-over before I could catch my flight to Portland. The flight got delayed. I finally arrived in Portland after 12:00 a.m. on Wednesday morning. By this point, I had been up for 21-hours.

I quickly rushed home and jumped into bed to hug Lee and Alex for all of about 3 hours. I was picked up this morning at 4:30 a.m. and caught the 6 a.m. flight to San Francisco. This is where I currently sit as I type this blog update.

My next adventure is a 9-hour and 30-minute flight from SF to Lima. I arrive a little after 12 a.m. on Thursday. After collecting my bags - I will have a 4+ hour wait before I can catch my last flight of the trip to Arequipa at 6 a.m.

Okay, here is the Pièce de résistance - I arrive in Arequipa around 9 a.m. on Friday and have until 12 noon when the conference starts. Oh, and Karen and I are the first speakers of the conference. Let's hope I can get a little sleep before the conference - or I will be working on energy fumes. Yikes.

The lesson for this story . . . please don't model your travel plans on my very frenetic wanderings. I don't think my itinerary is a very healthy approach.